Randomness & the Ass Matchmaker

This adventure started with a random NYT piece by renowned runner/author Christopher McDougal. McDougal had taken in an ill-treated donkey, Sherman, with the goal of training together to compete in the World Championship Pack Burro Race in Fairplay, CO.

This adventure continued with a further random incident. We happened to be nearby in CO & were able to attend Burro Days, a 2-day festival celebrating mining heritage & animals- all capped with the burro race. These intrepid runners aren’t RIDING the burros. They RUN WITH their burro partner. On a rope. Over mountains- high mountains. For either 29 miles or for the “short course”, 15 miles. This is no sissy sport. Of course, that means I HAD to do it.

More randomness. At the race I made a connection with the Ass Matchmaker, Amber. Amber & her husband, Brad, care for a band of “rental” racing burros. Two years later when we headed back to CO, I considered participating in the event but all the burros were spoken for. A week before the race, Amber reached out. A burro, Bandit, was now available.  Was I interested?  Hell Yeah.

Oh, & how does one quickly train for a burro race? I went to the local REI store searching for appropriate burro racing shoes. I watched burro racing YouTube videos- a bad idea that featured broken ribs, dragging & concussions. This gave me a full-blown panic attack. Jeff & drove to Denver for a training run. I learned the proper way to handle my rope, saddle the burros & work as a pack with other burros. With only days before the race, I had no chance to train the weak link in this high-elevation partnership- ME.

June 28, 2019. Day of race. We arrived early for race registration & saddle weigh in (we have to carry specific mining gear.) The race harkens back over 70 years when bored, drunk & slightly stir crazy miners competed in the inaugural race. I’ve been in lots of races, but never one that leaves piles of poop all over the starting line. Cue the starting gun & we’re off. A few miles out, Bandit needed to stop to take care of business. Once he finished & looked up, he realized all his burro buddies were long gone. At that point, he put on the brakes & lost all interest in racing. I tried pulling. I cajoled. I bribed with apples. No movement. Finally, I had to turn him around for the walk of shame back to the main street finish line to the cheers of the crowds thinking I was the speediest of runners. I’ve never DNF (Did Not Finish) a race so I had issues with how things went but had to get my head around the idea that it just wasn’t my day & I had to share power in this partnership. Still, we took Bandit back to his pen, combed him & fed him carrots. Two years later Bandit passed & all the Bandit stories came out. I was not alone in being a runner toyed with by Bandit.

July 25, 2021. We end up back in CO during Burro Days. Again, a few days out, Amber had a burro. This year, my goal was to use the race as training for an upcoming looong hike. 15

miles at high altitude across varied terrain would be great training. My partner in crime would be Blaster. This mini-burro was perfect for me. Small, so it wouldn’t hurt too bad if he stepped on me. I could even decorate him with festive flowers & a lei. Blaster is in his late 20s- I’m not sure what that means in human years but Blaster was slow & that was OK. He is also the beloved mascot of the Colorado School of Mines. He even has a web page that describes him as “an enduring symbol of determination & work ethic” for all students. The pressure! I confirmed with Amber that the race would not kill Blaster- I didn’t want that on my tombstone- The Lady That Killed Blaster

We had a strong start. Blaster’s little legs kept us in the middle of the pack, but with time lagged & ultimately were out on the course in the hills hunting for pink ribbons indicating the course & on the lookout for other racers. At six miles, a bit short of the turnaround, he just put the brakes on. I pulled, I cajoled, I bribed (sound familiar?) to no avail. Luckily, after time, some of his burro buddies made the turnaround & he was more than willing to join them on the run home. Where did this little guy get the energy to run home the final six miles, I’ll never know. He was such a pleasure to be with (along with the other racers that we ran home with) that I was ok that we “only” got to go 12 miles. It was HIS race, HIS day. I was just along for the adventure.  And hurray, I didn’t kill Blaster!

A Tale of Two Parks

 While we’d already visited two of Colorado’s National parks- Rocky Mountain & Great Sand Dunes, we were excited to see the two less-visited parks, Mesa Verde & Black Canyon of the Gunnison. These two parks couldn’t have been more different. Mesa Verde is an ode to mankind while Black Canyon harkens to a land that man forgot.

Mesa Verde, in the southwest corner of CO near Durango, was established as the first 
National Park to preserve the works of the ancestral Puebloans, or Anasazi, who lived in the area until the 1,300s & left behind archeological sites which make up the heart of the park. The park is full of winding roads with long vistas or arid mountains. Many of the best examples of pueblo living are kept at a distance due to crumbling overhangs or require ranger tours to ensure the sandstone cliff dwellings are kept safe from overeager tourists. We learned an important 2021 lesson- if you want to do anything involving rangers, book it the moment it goes on sale, or you’ll be eating dirt like we were.

I doubt you can find anyone outside CO that has been to Black Canyon of the Gunnison. I personally think it needs a rebranding campaign & a shorter name that rolls off the tongue. It’s a perfect one day car trip to really get out into unspoiled nature & get a real sense of the vastness of our country. Much of the highlights of the park can be toured in your car, interspersed with frequent short walks to take in some of the more stunning views. A vivid testament to erosion, the canyon is over 2,000 feet deep & at its narrowest spans only 1,000 feet at the top & 40 feet at the bottom. Since it is difficult for sunlight to filter down these narrow passages, much of the canyon is in perpetual darkness & shadow.

My favorite site is Painted Wall, Colorado’s highest cliff (twice as tall as the Empire State Building) with its colorful marbled appearance. Tucked at the bottom, the Gunnison River looks like a distant ribbon but the whitecaps give you a sense of the speed of the river.

Maybe we need a campaign to rename BCotG. Dark Shadows NP? Black Panther NP? Gunnison Cliffs NP? Ideas are welcome.

If you’ve been to both, which did you prefer & why?

Hail? REALLY?

We packed up early for our adventure to Lake Hope.  Two-way radios- check. High energy snack foods- check.  Rain gear and hiking poles- check.  Now, if we could just find Lake Hope.  Armed with three (yes, three) hiking trail references, we went off in search of what was billed as a hike to lovely Lake Hope, a high-altitude alpine lake nestled in the mountains south of Telluride.  Unfortunately, every guide provided different directions to finding the elusive trailhead.  We circled lakes, ended at posted “Private Property” signs, and finally mounted a drive up a rocky dirt trail up a mountainside (reminiscent of Costa Rica) to start our hike.  Surely, we’d need all our gear as we’d never encounter homo sapiens during the day- only wildlife and wildflowers were on our agenda.

 
After miles up the trail- Eureka- we arrived, only to find a dozen other cars already parked- their drivers already enjoying our private hike. We’ve determined Telluride is not the place to attempt an illicit affair. We keep running into the same local hikers (and their big dogs, of course!) on different trails each day. So much for quiet moments!

 

But the trip was well worth it.  Long stretches of switchbacks through the forest trail dotted with magenta and yellow wildflowers helped ease the pain of the 2000 foot ascent.  When we finally arrived at the lake, it was well worth the effort.  At close to 12,000 feet, ice flows still floated on the lake surface and snow crept across the mountainsides ringing the lake.  We began to enjoy our snacks when a hailstorm began.  Actually, hail is better than rain since it quickly bounces off your head!  Unfortunately, hail brought its cousins thunder and rain to the party so we hurried down- drenched but happy from the adventure.  Why is the drive down the mountain always so much easier? 

My Million Dollar Telluride Idea

Telluride is a magical place- the kind of place that offers you its beauty and charm both in winter and summer seasons. While we’ve skied here several times, this was our first foray into summer at Telluride and hopefully, won’t be our last.

Because it is a more newly-developed, everything is aesthetically pleasing and well planned.  That’s not to say that the town isn’t rich in history. Snuggled into a box canyon in the San Juan Mountains, Telluride, once known as the City of Gold, is now a National historic District.  Spanish explorers came in the late 1700s, followed by fur traders and the Ute Indians, and later persevering miners in search of riches. 

Today the town is still sprinkled with historic buildings and charming renovated miner homes. Nestled alongside these quaint structures and dotting the hillside are opulent stone and wood homes for the town’s wealthy residents (Tom Cruise lives in our “hood”.  No Suri sightings yet!)  Top-notch hiking trails and bike paths snake along the downtown creek and up the side of adjacent Bear Creek Mountain.  The hot yoga studio doesn’t publish fees, but asks you to pay what you can (although they suggest you “can” afford to pay between $12 and $20 a session) and the local medical marijuana stores appear to be doing a healthy business. Somehow, it all just “works” to make Telluride a highly “livable” location with a young, laid-back, healthy vibe.

But who rules this quaint town with its main street dotted with flower boxes and local hardware store coexisting side-by-side with  trendy shops and organic restaurants? 

It’s the DOGS! 

I’ve come to realize that there are probably more dogs than humans in this town.  And they appear to be revered by its residents! Telluride would put Paris and New York to shame.  On our first day of hiking, on the trail we noticed that almost everyone we encountered had their dog with them.  Since then, we see them everywhere- on the gondola, reigning over stores, and my favorite, quietly sitting on a bar stool with his human at a trendy mountainside bar last night- watching the sports channel.

Now for my plan- Telluride Rent-a-Dog!  For those visitors or those new-to-the-area who want to immediately fit in and have an instant friend an status symbol (without the worry of crating and airplane travel.)  And these can’t be normal sized dogs.  The bigger, the furrier, the slobberier the better.  Lolling tongues and panting are a plus.  Labs and Goldens will be our specialty . And they will have “immediately friendly” names to match- Rusty, Bo, Buddy, Mac and as a nod to my Southern heritage, Dixie.  These new friends will serve as hiking partners, provide entry into any and all local establishments and be great for picking up members of the opposite sex.  And they will even come with a tennis ball for play! 

Investors, anyone?